Suddenly you are embracing your new roles, new routines, discovering a way to reach the new balance in your life. You want to be the best version of yourself and your child and creating the best environment for your child to thrive. Doing all above in a foreign country bring your adjustment to face the new cultures and support system adjustment. And when your child has a special need, this journey is even more complicated to navigate. It is a lot; I get you dear parents.

Dear parents, I see you…you are not alone!  I am telling you that many parents share this feeling, even Dutch parents themselves. This journey is such a mixture of different colors and lines, which is beautiful and rich, but sometimes it also makes you wonder where you want to start.

There are many ways to approach these lines. For me, it started with a question, “What does my child need?”.

During my study, I remember when we learn about Maslow’s pyramid of basic hierarchy of human needs. It is a psychological theory developed by Abraham Maslow in 1943 which argues that humans have different tier levels of needs.  Basically, it views that for a human to develop/thrive optimally (self-actualization; top of the pyramid), the needs in the lower down in the hierarchy must be fulfilled.  I love how comprehensive this pyramid perspective, and how it captures basic universal human need.

I believe the same pyramid structure, can be used to navigate this journey.

1.Basic Physiological Needs: These needs are essential to our survival, for example: food, water, shelter, and clothing. I believe that a diagnosis and healthcare support will support these needs. For example, a child that has constant itchy or pain in his body will not be able to optimally focus to what the teacher said. Therefore, finding a diagnosis and medical care is crucial to support further development.

2.Safety and Security: To thrive and live healthy lives humans need a sense of safety and security. Humans, and especially kids thrive in routine, and in an environment in which they are comfortable. I believe that finding a suitable form of tailored education will support this, since it is also a way for kids to learn to extends his/her feel of safety/security.  For example, a child with autism and anxiety will be able to learn when he first feels safe in the structured environment, when he/she feeling in control due to the use of clear visual day-program.

3.Love/belonging: A nurturing place where someone feel belong, and appreciated emotionally, physically, and psychologically.  I believe that tailored-education, tailored-activities, and community support will supporting this need.

4.Esteem:  An achievement feeling in which creating one’s self-esteem.

5.Self-Actualization: the child’s ability to rise, to act creatively, to dream, to act without fear, and to find purpose.

When all above set up, hopefully it could create a nurturing environment for our child to create our children’s self-esteem, and self-actualization. If it is not yet figured out, don’t worry. I believe that our love as parents will always be inclusive in creating all those 5 pillars. So, parents..love love and love! In a way, love is all you need.

Greetings,